I found this old entry I wrote back in 2007. The way I felt then is the way I feel now. The way I thought then is the way I think now. I’m really glad I found this. I’m happy to share it with you.
‘i am just an ordinary radical trying to figure out how to love better.’ i want to learn how to love, risk and dream. i have a dream – a dream of purpose, love, unity. my mind has always wandered to bigger things, a larger purpose – great things. however, i am discovering, in the words of mother teresa that ‘we can do no great things, just small things with great love. it’s not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it.’ i am willing, ready to put everything into it – into life, into people, into love, into Him. i am willing to risk it all, loose it all. we are called to ‘go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned.’ i don’t want to settle for a life of comfort. we are called to live outside of our comfort zones. ‘i want to be a lover of god and people.’ the doors of normalcy and conformity are dead. the time has come to give up on the doors and find a window to climb through.’ there is much more to life than what we’ve been told to pursue. more than careers and college, money and materialism, popularity and being cool. there is more to life, and i want it to the highest degree. i want to suck the marrow out of life, like thoreau. i want to spend my life actively resisting everything that destroys life. i want to love until it hurts, and then love some more. i dream of another world, a better world. i want to share my best. i want to love without borders and not wrong those who wrong me. ‘He dares me and woos me to come and follow, to take up my cross, to lose my life to find it, with the promises that life is more powerful than death and that it is more courageous to love our enemies than to kill them.’ i don’t want to tip-toe through life. i want to run, hop, skip and dance. i am called to be extraordinary, not cool. i am called to live radically different, not to appease the world.